I hate this feeling
I consider myself someone that lives a quiet life. I enjoy my own company and I don't have any drama around me.
But for months now, I've had knots inside of me.
It's a feeling I can't explain very well, but it's a very annoying feeling that I acquired on accident.
Recently, a work friend told me that their partner had broken up with them and that they weren't sure whether to feel hateful or accepting. I could tell that my friend still really cared for the other person, and I understand that feeling. To go from talking every day to barely talking at all is a big adjustment. Suddenly you feel empty.
I realized the knots I had were formed like that too, that I still cared deeply for someone that had forced their way into my life and then left it. And I just watched as they left, being unable to completely let go.
It really sucks.
I realized that I've never had this feeling before because I never had to experience this, but now that I have it really sucks. I always want to kick myself for even letting this happen in the first place because I could be happily doing something else right now.
It's been months, but I hope this feeling passes soon.